In my mouth.
Through my veins
Making my heart race
My pulse quicken
Just a bit dizzy.
My legs are just a bit numb.
Yearns for more
More of you
I can’t wait anymore.
This is torture.
I’m in hell
Waiting for you.
I just want to shout
To this giant crowd of people
“How hard is it to make a latte, fuckers?”
I love you, coffee.”—
i’ve had this on repeat since 6am, and i don’t plan on turning it off until they stick me at a service desk with people who probably don’t want to listen to this all day. (aka, people with bad taste and/or no priorities.)
“If you trust me at all, if you want to listen to me at all..but you certainly don’t have to…speaking from experience, I can tell you that things change. You can believe me, you don’t have to. They probably won’t change unless you make them. The best way to change something that’s around you, something you don’t like, is to change yourself. And I don’t think you want other people changing you, I think the only person that can change you is yourself. So if you ain’t happy, if you’re reading magazines about generation x-ers and thinking ‘yeah, I’m one of them’, well fuck that. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. No, no. No one can tell me who I am. I can tell you who I am, but that would be a long story. I could tell you who I am and it wouldn’t fit in a Rolling Stone. If wouldn’t fit in a video…it’s my life, it’s your life. You’re the only one who knows who you are. I hope you know who you are, figure it out. Cause you are somebody. And I’m probably stating the obvious, but I just thought I’d do it anyway. So if you feel like you’ve got a piece of duct tape on your mouth, if you feel like you can’t speak, take it off, speak up, speak your mind, shout it out,let em hear, shout it out.”—Eddie Vedder [Live during Porch 9/29/96] (via glorified-g)
So Kait was hosting a Rainy Day Cuddles, Cookies, and Tea Comment Fest and I meant to enter something but of course I was away all weekend and then when I started something last night I accidentally closed the tab the comment was in and lost all of it, so I don’t think I’ll enter anything in it officially.
However, I did promise Lisa that I would write her some Abraham Lincoln Talking To Jasper Hale fic that crosses over Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (which is great!) and Twilight (which is still horrible, also, Jasper’s original last name is Whitlock, also also, I have done way too much Civil War research in the name of Twilight fic for me to be comfortable with myself ever again). So I’m sitting here working on that and getting all giddy over the dialogue. Oh, someone let this week be over so I can start in on the real book and stop writing stupid things only one person cares about. (Look, at least two people care about the book, okay!? And we already have bootlegged merch, so you know it’s going to be fabulous!)
The door opened and a slender young man entered. “Thank you,” he drawled, and the door closed again behind him. He pulled the top hat off his head and held it in front of him with both hands. Water fell off it in droplets and dampened the carpet. “So, this is where the decisions about who get to live and die are made.”
“Mr. Whitlock, I presume,” Abraham said. He closed the book without bothering to mark his page and left it in his lap with his hands folded over it. “It’s only ever Henry’s acquaintances who choose to address me without the respect that is owed to my station.”
“You misunderstand me, sir,” Whitlock said. “It is not that I disrespect your station, merely that it does not concern me.”
“Are you speaking as Southerner, or a Vampire?”
Whitlock appraised Abraham, and Abraham took the space between them to do the same. The young man’s golden hair was wet and curling at the tips, in spite of being neatly combed and cut. His eyes were nearly the same disconcerting color, which Harry had warned Abraham he might see in some members of their species. He looked strong, but his smallness—in his stature and his features—belied his age. Or rather, the age he had been. The boy couldn’t have been more than nineteen. Hardly old enough to know what living was, let alone have accomplished what he had.
this has been a great, low-key birthday (27! an age i am terrified of being!), and now i’m ending it by laying on my living room floor, listening to this song on repeat, and crying because i love it/life so much.
last week, a friend asked “Why are some YA novels actually good? It makes me all intellectually confused.” i offered to blow his mind with some more excellent YA recs, so now here we are! (for the record: i’ve been reading YA books for nearly 16 years, aka since i was 11, aka for well over half of my life. my mother has been nagging me to stop read them for over 10 of those years, and i have resisted because i know YA is the best.) (this list is heavy on the dystopias cos my friend likes that sort of thing. fortunately, i do too!)
delirium by lauren oliver: this is set in a dystopian future where everyone is “cured” of love at age 18. lena is looking forward to getting the procedure in a few months, until, obviously, she falls in love. her relationship with her best friend is just as important as her romantic relationship though, and the world oliver creates feels very real.
white cat by holly black: this is set in the present day, except in this world there are curse workers who can change your luck, your dreams, your memories, or even everything about you with the touch of a finger. so everyone wears gloves at all times, and workers mostly make a living by working for the mob. cassel comes from a family of workers, but feels like a freak because he’s the only one without any powers…or so he thinks. black’s writing is always fantastic (i also recommend her modern fairie tales trilogy) and her worlds are always incredibly rich.
the book thief by markus zusack: i guess this is technically fantasy, since it’s narrated by death, but it never felt fantastic to me. it’s set in germany during world war 2, and follows liesel, an orphan who can’t read but who steals books anyway. she gets adopted and grows up while the world falls apart around her. it shouldn’t even need to be said, but this book is brutal. zusack manages to make you fall in love with everyone and hope they all get a happy ending despite the facts that he plainly tells you they won’t and also it’s set in germany during world war 2 so obviously it will crush you. do not read the last 50 pages or so in public.
the hunger games by suzanne collins: dystopian future, children fighting to the death on a reality tv show i could actually get behind so the people in their district can actually eat. i shouldn’t have to say too much about this since the internet won’t shut up about it, but these books are scary, exciting, and sad, sometimes all at once.
how i live now by meg rosoff: dystopian present, world goes to war while 15 year old daisy visits her extended family in england for the first time. she and her cousins end up having to make it on their own. if i recall correctly, there is also some magic and some incest, two things i am generally not opposed to in books. i read this ages ago, after it won the printz, but i haven’t been able to get it out of my head since then so it must be good.
uglies by scott westerfeld: dystopian future where everyone gets the same present for their sweet sixteen: plastic surgery and a lobotomy. it sounds kind of ludicrous and my coworkers still make fun of me for reading it, but westerfeld’s use of language to build this world is stunning. (also good: leviathan. alternate history of WW1.)
nick & norah’s infinite playlist by rachel cohn and david levithan: straight fiction, there’s a movie, they are different, i love them both. basically though, boy meets girl, girl pretends to be boy’s girlfriend, adventures around manhattan ensue.
looking for alaska by john green: no joke, you can read anything by john green and see that YA can be well-written and important and literary, but this one is my personal favorite. green’s writing is beautiful and lyrical, his teenagers are authentic and relatable, and his stories never quite take you where you thought they would.
glass houses by rachel caine: my obligatory vampire rec. claire starts college young, which is why she goes to a small school in morganville, texas instead of MIT like she’s been dreaming about. the only problem is that morganville is run by vampires, and once you find out the truth they won’t let you leave. sometimes the vampires are her enemies, sometimes they’re her allies, and sometimes she’s their savior. in the end though, these books are about finding a way to form a community and survive together.
city of bones by cassandra clare: i know this is a bit of a controversial rec when talking to fannish people of a certain age, but i don’t care. i also don’t want to hear anyone who has not read these telling me that they’re unoriginal or boring or “harry potter fic with the names changed” or whatever other bullshit fandom ascribes to this series. it’s an interesting, original ‘verse and the story clare tells in it is exciting and captivating and full of rich characters. i will say that the first book takes a little time to find its feet but i think it’s worth waiting it out.
honorable mentions: speak by laurie halse anderson, shine by lauren myracle, the golden compass by philip pullman, queen’s thief by megan whalen turner, the lover’s dictionary by david levithan, it’s kind of a funny story by ned vizzini.