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i talk about music a lot, & have a tendency to post songs that are stuck in my head in the hope that they will get stuck in your head instead. you're welcome.

May 19
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

king charles - ivory road

It hadn’t all been thieving, of course. Their years in the hidden Elderglass burrow had been cooking and learning and arguing and laughing and everything else as well. They each carved out whatever bit of private space they could and created their own rituals and traditions for sharing their home with five other people who could sneak up on you while you slept (or beat you to a pulp, if your name was Locke Lamora).

So it had started as something the Sanzas sang while getting ready to go out drinking and cardsharping when they were teenagers. Once they realized how much it annoyed the rest of the Bastards, they started singing it while cooking, counting the day’s haul, and for one interminable week, in Vadran while they practiced their accents.

It wasn’t long before Calo and Galdo caught Jean, Locke, and even eventually Sabetha singing it to themselves while working on chores around the burrow. Father Chains came home one night to find the five of them gathered in the kitchen, drinking and cheating each other at cards and practically shouting the words across the table. He pitched his voice so his “For the love of the Thirteen!” would carry back to them before he shut himself in his room to a chorus of laughs.

The song- just some folk song the Sanzas had picked up at a Revel- became a part of their lives. Bits of it were used in codes, or whistled at night to identify themselves, or sung to each other, in turns to amuse and annoy the rest of the gang.

The song lost its luster for Locke and Jean after Chains died and Sabetha left, but the twins never stopped using it in signals for each other.

Locke and Jean hadn’t heard it for years, not until the night they officially became pirates on the Poison Orchid. they still weren’t speaking, but when a few of the Orchids started singing the familiar words, they locked eyes across the ship. Locke raised the bottle of wine he was nursing in Jean’s direction. Jean followed suit, then poured some out on the deck. “A drink poured to air for lost friends,” he whispered.

Locked poured some of his own wine out. “A drink poured to air for the Calo and Galdo Sanza. We will conquer them all,” Locke whispered back.

#sometimes i write things #gentlemen bastards #king charles

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#professional book stalker #scott lynch #gentlemen bastards

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May 10
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a note to people who post wrong information about republic of thieves in the republic of thieves tag:

hello! i’m lisa, your friendly neighborhood book stalker! just so we’re all clear: there is still no official release date for republic of thieves. various sites have agreed on the fall, but some (google play, gollancz) are saying 2012 while others (amazon) are saying 2013. but until scott lynch tells us for realsies, those dates don’t mean much!

(“but how will we know when scott finally announces it?!” you ask. simple! follow scott on twitter or lj, sign up for his magical release date mailing list, or keep on eye on the republic of thieves tag. approximately 13 seconds after we get an official date, i will be in here keysmashing and swallowing my own tongue. YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO MISS IT.)

#republic of thieves #this post is mostly because i feel like a jerk every time i message someone to burst their bubble re: a release date #BUT IT MUST BE DONE #i take my job as a book stalker very seriously #i've been doing it since before i knew what the internet was #lj smith's publishers are probably relieved that i don't call them anymore #gentlemen bastards #i'm hoping the gollancz thing means we get an official announcement soon though!

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May 03
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The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games…”
“… is Locke…”
“… because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons…”
“… and fifty thousand cheering spectators.

Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora (Book One of the Gentleman Bastard Sequence) - Chapter One: The Don Salvara Game

(via thieves-prosper)

(via charmingpplincardigans)

#the lies of locke lamora #scott lynch #gentlemen bastards #ashley and i plotted out an awesome locke lamora fic this morning #it was obviously the best possible use of our time #now i have to maybe think about writing it #the part where i write it is the worst part

Apr 30
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“I hope a shark tries to suck your cock.”

red seas under red skies! i am behind on my reading (the busy season at work is ending, and also i am reading about 3000 other books right now) but whatever, i can answer these questions anyway! cos i’m just. that. good. (also my favorite quote this week! it is also my favorite t-shirt that i never wear!)

1. The Sinspire. It looks like our heroes (can they really be called that?) find themselves in search of a way into an unbeatable vault. Do you think they have what it takes to make it happen?

um, yes. have you MET them? plus, as we see in this section, they cheat PEOPLE, not machines.

2.  Anyone want to guess how they’re going to make it happen?

carrier pigeons.

3. It’s a little different this time around, with us just being focused on Locke and Jean. Is anyone else missing the rest of the Bastards as much as I am?

:( :( :(

i miss all their dumb faces a lot. we get a lot of good secondary characters in this book, but i’m pretty sure i will never stop missing bug and the sanzas.

4. I love the section where Jean starts to build a new guild of thieves. It really shows just how well trained and tough he is. Do you think the Bastards will end up training others along the way again like Bug?

i don’t. it may have started as training a gang, but they were family and are therefore not so easily replaced. and while i can see jean starting over like that, i can’t imagine locke doing any such thing.

5. For those of you looking for Sabetha, we still haven’t spotted her yet. Anyone else chomping at the bit to see the love of Locke’s life?

eywgfriwueirwu sabethaaaaaaaaaaaa. i am going to choke on my own tongue when we get republic of thieves, y’all.

6. It’s early on, but the Bastards are already caught up in plots that they didn’t expect. How do you think their new “employer” is going to make use of them (The Archon, that is)?

i think he’s going to be a bag of dicks. but mm, pear cider.

#red seas under red skies #heaps of fucking fun #scott lynch #gentlemen bastards #sharks

Apr 28
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honor-among-thieves:

nocowardsoul:

Blessed are the patient and the watchful.Blessed is the one who aids a thief,Hides a thief,Revenges a thief,And Remembers a thief,For they shall inherit the night.
Interesting … must be from Republic of Thieves the play.

My face right now
:O

hmm. HMMMM. (inherit the night is the last book in the series, for the record.)

honor-among-thieves:

nocowardsoul:

Blessed are the patient and the watchful.
Blessed is the one who aids a thief,
Hides a thief,
Revenges a thief,
And Remembers a thief,
For they shall inherit the night.

Interesting … must be from Republic of Thieves the play.

My face right now

:O

hmm. HMMMM. (inherit the night is the last book in the series, for the record.)

#scott lynch #republic of thieves #gentlemen bastards

Apr 20
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scott lynch reading from “the mad baron’s mechanical attic” at the KGB Bar on 04/18/12. (part two here.)

omg i love locke’s stupid cranky faaaaaace!

this is a prequel to the lies of locke lamora, relating to the acquisition of a particular cask of brandy. eeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

#scott lynch #gentlemen bastards #ADMIRE. THE ORANGES.

Apr 07
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“Gods, a real Karthani bondsmage. Looks like he won’t be recommending Camorr to his friends.”

you guys! the lies of locke lamoraread-along is over! this has been a lot of fun, and i super-appreciate all four awesome bloggers who ran it because lord knows i needed an excuse to throw this many words at the internet about my favorite book.

ashley and i had a much shorter thread than usual, but it did contain the thing i think we say every single time we read this book, which is that nothing feels as good as hearing locke ask the falconer what the fuck made him think locke was his real name. seriously, BEST FEELING EVER.

now, on to the questions! if my ramblings haven’t convinced you to read these books yet, i hope they do soon. i just feel bad for you, because you are missing out on some of the best fantasy out there and your life could therefore be improved quite a bit.


The Thorn of Camorr is renowned – he can beat anyone in a fight and he steals from the rich to give to the poor. Except of course that clearly most of the myths surrounding him are based on fantasy and not fact. Now that the book is finished how do you feel the man himself compares to his legend. Did you feel that he changed as the story progressed and, if so, how did this make you feel about him by the time the conclusion was reached?

i think that locke lives up to his legend as much as anyone lives up to the legends that surround them. those stories all started somewhere, and at the end of the day, locke is pretty fucking clever. i’m gonna disagree with ashley though- i think these events did change locke. before the gray king, he thought- with good reason- that he and the rest of the gentlemen bastards were untouchable. but between the gray king and the spider, i think his ego was taken down a notch or two. fortunately, as we learn in red seas, he does not let his newfound fallability cripple him too much, at least not after jean kicks his ass.

but he also learned an important lesson about where the game ranks in his life. i think before all of this, he would have ranked the cons right up there with the bastards. and while locke (and jean) DID appreciate their family and the time they had together, i don’t think they were really able to separate that from cons until they had to.


Scott Lynch certainly likes to give his leading ladies some entertaining and strong roles to play. We have the Berangia sisters – and I definitely wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of them or their blades plus Dona Vorchenza who is the Spider and played a very cool character – even play acting to catch the Thorn. How did you feel about the treatment the sisters and Dona received at the hands of Jean and Locke – were you surprised, did it seem out of character at all or justified?

i know i am always harping on this one bit of wank, but hufiewhfe I LOVE THE LADIES IN THIS BOOK. the thief ladies and the noble ladies are all truly forces to be reckoned with. they are smart and funny and capable and have incredible lives that cannot be overshadowed by the men they know.

the sisters and the spider, in particular, are so amazing to me. the berangias were so young when their parents were killed, and not only did they train and devote themselves to this revenge, but they were undercover for EIGHT YEARS. undercover ascontrarequialla, which had to be so hard. they were beaten because of one small flaw- their professionalism- in a fight with someone who is incredibly well-trained.

and the spider very nearly won. the only thing that saved locke was his recklessness at jumping out the window, and if they hadn’t been in the middle of this mess with the gray king, there is a good chance he would have truly been caught. (i doubt he would have gone in all alone if he had had a gang to take with him.) and in the end, she really DID win. even if locke and jean had WANTED to stay in camorr at that point, they wouldn’t have been able to.


Towards the end we saw a little more of the magic and the history of the Bondsmagi. The magic, particularly with the use of true names, reminds me a little of old fashioned witchcraft or even voodoo. But, more than that I was fascinated after reading the interlude headed ‘The Throne in Ashes’ about the Elderglass and the Elders and why their structures were able to survive even against the full might of the Bondsmagi – do you have any theories about this do you think it’s based on one of our ancient civilisations or maybe similar to a myth?

i have no theories about the eldren, and don’t particularly care to formulate any at this time.

but the bondsmagi! oh, their magic is AWESOME. i love how old school it is, and the implied limits of it. can’t wait to see more of them.


We have previously discussed Scott Lynch’s use of description and whether it’s too much or just spot on. Having got into the last quarter of the book where the level of tension was seriously cranked up – did you still find, the breaks for interludes and the descriptions useful or, under the circumstances did it feel more like a distraction?

i still love the interludes, but reading it slowly for once made me agree with scott a bit that the later interludes aren’t as fleshed out. i still think they add a lot to the story and are good shorthand for characterization (the one on revenge sums up camorr nicely, i think), but they could have been used more effectively.


Now that the book has finished how did you feel about the conclusion and the eventual reveal about the Grey King and more to the point the motivations he declared for such revenge – does it seem credible, were you expecting much worse or something completely different altogether?

super-credible. the gray king is like the anti-batman, you know? and i get that. i was expecting it to be more personal for the gentlemen bastards, but if they were spying on every gang to find any weaknesses it makes sense that they would have found out about them and decided to use them.


Were you surprised that Locke, being given two possible choices (one of which could possibly mean he would miss his chance for revenge on the Grey King) chose to go back to the Tower – especially given that (1) he would have difficulty in getting into the building (2) he would have difficulty in convincing them about the situation and (3) he would have difficulty in remaining free afterwards? Did anyone else nearly pee their pants when Locke and the rest were carrying the sculptures up to the roof garden?

i wasn’t surprised at all. at the end of the day, locke is not a killer. as the gray king says, taking people’s money isn’t the same at all, and that’s a line i think locke will always have a hard time crossing. he’s a priest and a thief and a liar, not a murderer.

but also, even after everything, i think locke loves camorr. he loves the city and the thieves and the sharks and every damn thing about it, and he knows that without capa barsavi the city will be chaotic for a while, maybe forever. but he also knows how much worse it would be if all of the nobility suddenly died as well. by choosing revenge, he would have been damning the entire city, not just those nobles, and he doesn’t have that in them.

not to mention- if you think you don’t want the bondsmagi on your tail, can you imagine being chased by an angry locke and jean? hoo boy.


Finally, the other question I would chuck in here is that, following the end of the book I was intrigued to check out some of the reviews of LOLL and noticed that the negative reviews mentioned the use of profanity. How did you feel about this – was it excessive? Just enough? Not enough?

bitch please. i LOVE the cursing in this book. i love that the boys are foul-mouthed little shits, and that is only partly because i have also been described in a similar matter, most often by my grandmother.

but seriously, i love the language used. it adds so much depth and character to the book, and gives it just the right amount of grit to help it pull off so much fantasy.


Okay one further, and probably most important but very quick question – having finished, will you pick up the sequel, Red Seas Under Red Skies?

listen- i was not even supposed to be reading THIS until we got a release date forrepublic of thieves. so while i will (hopefully) be reading it soon, i am going to do my best to wait until we know the next one is on its way. (but also, i have a GIANT stack of library books waiting for me. why can i not read full-time? ugh.)

#the lies of locke lamora #gentlemen bastards #heaps of fucking fun

Mar 24
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“I’m only doing this because I’ve always wanted to see Bug get eaten by an Eldren ghost.”

because i know you are all fascinated by what obsessed weirdos ashley and i are, this week’s thread had almost 80 emails, including 22 frowny faces, a debate on whether we should keep reading (and who has to read republic of thievesfirst in order to check it for ~feelings), and a plan to make scott lynch love us so he stops breaking our hearts. uh, spoilers, but the feelings train is about to pull out of the station. ALL ABOOOOOOARD!

1. This section is where we finally get to sneak a peek at the magic in The Gentleman Bastards books. From what we read, what are your initial impressions of the magic Lynch is using? Is there any way that Locke and Company would be able to get around the Bondsmage’s powers?

the magic is so interesting, especially when we find out more about it later. it’s very old school, and fits so well in this world where it seems like it almost shouldn’t fit at all.

2. Not a question, but an area for rampant speculation: If you want to take a stab at who you think the Grey King might be, feel free to do it here.

hah, okay, listerally the only thing i really remember from my first reading is my thoughts on who the grey king was. namely, i thought it was sabetha, or someone sabetha was working with. (i didn’t realize it was the first book in a series, and for a stand-alone to mention a missing character this much usually meant a twist where they were evil.)

2.5 (since 2 wasn’t really a question) Anyone see the Nazca thing coming? Anyone? Do you think there are more crazy turns like this in store for the book? Would you like to speculate about them here? (yes, yes you would)

GAH, NAZCA. so so sad about nazca. also the cask of horse piss makes me gag every single time i read about it, egh.

3. When Locke says “Nice bird, arsehole,” I lose it. EVERY TIME. And not just because I have the UK version of the book and the word arsehole is funnier than asshole. Have there been any other places in the books so far where you found yourself laughing out loud, or giggling like a crazy person on the subway?

OH GOD I LOVE THAT LINE. i love how much characterization scott packs into three words, and i love what a cocky little shit locke is. there’s a lot in this book that makes me laugh out loud (really all the banter between the boys, but especially calo and galdo) and/or grin like an idiot. i really do have practically half this book highlighted. my favorite favorite favorite scene in the whole book is when they are getting ready to head to the echo hole and doing their ritual thing and just bantering with each other. <3booooooys<3

4. By the end of this reading section, have your opinions changed about how clever the Bastards are? Do you still feel like they’re “cleverer than all the rest?” Or have they been decidedly outplayed by the Grey King and his Bondsmage?

nope! still more clever. i don’t think they’ve been outplayed. outclassed or outfinessed, maybe, but you have to remember that the gray king and the falconer have both a headstart and a MASSIVE advantage, and also that we’re only halfway done.

5. I imagine that you’ve probably read ahead, since this was a huge cliffhanger of an ending for the “present” storyline, but I’ll ask this anyway: Where do you see the story going from here, now that the Grey King is thought to be dead?

hgfureghuewihe

i stopped where we were supposed to, because as a locke lamora veteran i know that i do not want to rush into the rest of this book. i always go really fast basically until locke gets to the echo hole, and then have to spend a lot of time frowning, which slows down the rest of the book.

6. What do you think of the characters Scott Lynch has given us so far? Are they believable? Real? Fleshed out? If not, what are they lacking?

I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH :/ i cannot praise scott enough, because his characterization and world-building and plot and slang and everything else is all just so fucking good. all of the characters- even the ones we’ve only seen a bit of, even the ones who are made up by other characters- feel so three-dimensional. it’s so easy to imagine everyone still living their lives in the background while the boys are living theirs for us to see.

7. Now that you’ve seen how clever Chains is about his “apprenticeships,” why do you think he’s doing all of this? Does he have an endgame in sight? Is there a goal he wants them to achieve, or is it something more emotional like revenge?

i don’t think chains really has an endgame beyond chaos, mostly. or well, we’ll find out more about the code of the thirteenth, and i suppose is endgame is partly about enforcing that. but it’s also just about having fun and being overlooked and, you know, stealing shit.

i also really enjoy seeing the boys meet jean for the first time, and locke’s acceptence of jean as family. and also the silly bickering between all of them. i also really like that father chains flatly acknowledges their strengths and teaches them not to be ashamed of their weaknesses.

idk writing this up is cutting into my naptime and also my laptop is driving me fucking crazy, WHICH IS WHY YOU NEVER NAME YOUR COMPUTER AFTER A TRICKSTER GOD I GUESS. ugh, poor life choices, inc.

#the lies of locke lamora #gentlemen bastards #heaps of fucking fun

Mar 22
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I promise you a death-offering, brothers,” Locke whispered when he’d finished. “I promise you an offering that will make the gods themselves take notice. An offering that will make the shades of all the dukes and capas of Camorr feel like paupers. An offering in blood and gold and fire. This I swear by Aza Guilla who gathers us, and by Perelandro who sheltered us, and by the Crooked Warden who places his finger on the scale when our souls are weighed. This I swear to Chains, who kept us safe. I beg your forgiveness that I failed to do the same.

The Lies of Locke Lamora, Chapter 10 by Scott Lynch.

No words. There are just no words.

(via seaofolives)

(via honor-among-thieves)

#the lies of locke lamora #scott lynch #quotes #gentlemen bastards #FEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS