i talk about music a lot, & have a tendency to post songs that are stuck in my head in the hope that they will get stuck in your head instead. you're welcome.
that character who’s super emotional and outgoing: asexual
that character that flirts with everyone: asexual
that character who canonically has a ton of relationships: asexual
That sounds like a challenge. Also like a thing lisapizza might be interested in.
Last time that half a pastry got you 12,000 words. If you mail me a cider donut you can have 20,000!
Tim pushes a piece of paper across the counter to her. She doesn’t touch it. “What is this?”
"It’s a rubric," he says. "If we use quantifiable data we’ll alleviate some of the prejudice in our preferences."
Natasha raises an eyebrow.
"Each physical asset gets five points and each emotional asset gets two."
She runs her finger down the page as she reads. “I didn’t know an ass could be confusing. I always figured it either was or wasn’t.”
Tim blushes. “It was a long summer.”
"I’ll bet." Natasha hadn’t been given the opportunity to have an adolescence. She can count on her hands the number of times she’s blushed or had butterflies in her stomach because of a man. In general, she doesn’t think she’s missed anything. Sometimes, though, she finds it endearing in others.
"Can we get this over with? This shit itches."
Natasha turns around to see Dick and James standing just outside of Dick’s bedroom. Dick is in his Nightwing costume. James is also in a Nightwing costume, though it’s pulling at its seams and the torso is drooping down his waist, too small to be pulled up over his chest and shoulders.
She starts laughing. She can’t help it. It just bubbles up out of her like water from a drowning dog and before she knows it she’s sat on the floor cross legged with her forehead in her hands. “And I thought the old red, white, and blue was tight.” She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye.
James snarls a bit.
"I figured it would be more fair this way," Dick says.
Tim comes from around the counter and points to the wall next to the television. “Right,” he says. “Hands against brick and spread ‘em.”
"Tim Drake, where did you pick up such crude lines? You’re not allowed to hang out with Jason anymore," Dick says, but he obliges. James follows suit.
Tim bends down to pull Natasha up again and they both settle on the couch, paper and pen in hand.
It only takes five minutes for them to fill in the boxes on their prospective sheets and then they move on to arguing their points.
"Who cares if you can bounce a quarter off it?" Natasha says. "Have you tried that with a 50 caliber bullet? Because that’s when it truly gets impressive."
"We don’t do guns," Tim says. "And besides. You can’t tell me you’ve never taken a bite out of that."
"Oh honey, I’ve drawn blood, but I’m not a cannibal, so until we serve him up with some warm red wine the assumption that one’s ass is ‘edible’ is conjecture, not fact."
"I bet it’s gamey anyway." Dick turns his face to look at James in profile and Natasha can see the start of a smirk there that she knows will drive James absolutely wild.
"Says the man whose rump meat could have fed the Donnor party for a week," James replies, stoic mirth creeping in around the edges of his voice.
"With generous rations!" Dick pushes away from the wall and rests his hands against his lower back with a loud smack.
"Can I take this off yet? It’s starting to chafe."
"And you’ve only had it on for fifteen minutes."
"There’s a reason we wear loose slacks in the army, son." James pushes back from the wall as well. He throws his own smirk Natasha’s way and then smacks Dick on the ass as hard as he can before disappearing back into the bedroom.
The sound makes Tim jump. “Y-yeah,” he says. “Go on then.”
Once the door is closed they confer for a few more minutes before settling back onto the couch in silence to wait. From outside they hear what sounds like a dozen bowling pens falling into a bathtub and a loud laugh. Those sounds are shortly followed by a near obscene, guttural noise that Natasha knows well.
Natasha rolls her eyes her eyes and crosses her arms. Tim’s gone red around the ears and is holding himself very carefully down to his breath, so that he doesn’t breach the several centimeters between them.
"You know," he starts.
"Not gonna happen," she says.
"I’d never. I don’t thi-. No, we could go out for food, bring them back something. They might need it. And with all due respect, you scare the want right out of me."
She pats his knee and leaves her hand there a beat too long, just to show him that she can. “Good,” she says. “That’s the way it should be.”
Imagine Dick being a lightweight when it comes to alcohol.
CHECK YES JULIET.
Imagine Bruce getting a tattoo of the word “JUSTICE”.
#then imagine dick getting a tattoo of the word ‘ladies’ #and bruce just glowering at it as it heals #and dick being like #i thought it was supposed to be our favorite thing (via charmingpplincardigans)
Imagine Jason trying to have a talk about feelings.
You know, it never occurred to me that I was Dick and Lisa was Jason, but it’s now suddenly all so clear.
listen, feelings are dumb and nobody wants to talk about them!
imagine if we were given a “nightwing” series a la batman: brave and the bold where dick teams up with all the discontinued characters of the nu!52 and goes on hilarious, heartwarming adventures across the world