i talk about music a lot, & have a tendency to post songs that are stuck in my head in the hope that they will get stuck in your head instead. you're welcome.
Have you ever noticed your cat softly purring to the tune of “The Rains of Castamere?” No? Uh… uh, me neither.— Scott Lynch (@scottlynch78) March 5, 2014
[His email went something like] “Hey dude, let me rescue you from yourself. You’re a prisoner of political correctness. What are you doing? You don’t have to put black people in your fiction,” like I had been brainwashed or forced to do it, and it wouldn’t have happened otherwise, like I could be free with all the other free white writers who don’t have to write about black people in their work, so I snapped. It’s fucking offensive to me. I live in the 21st century and if you want to sulk and pretend that we don’t, that’s your own business, but don’t tell me to participate in your bullshit.
It was that whole, “Well, now I’m not going to tell my friends to buy your book.”
“Fine. Don’t tell your racist fuck-head friends to buy my book.”
Oh, Locke. You’re more thoroughly up shit creek than you’ve ever been before, and you expect your author to have a plan to bail you out. That’s cute.
New headcanon: Scott Lynch is actually the Nameless 13th.
there’s a reason we call him the Crooked Author, you guys :p
“They’re not all-knowing, Locke. They must have weaknesses.”
“Must they really? And do you know what they are? Might one of them be allergic to exotic foods, or suffer poor relations with his mother?”
Since lack of self-awareness seems to be the only export good our society is still shipping out in ever-accelerating quantities, it’s no surprise that “Sexy (Insert anything wildly inappropriate, ill-considered, or obscurantist HERE)” costumes have gone a wee bit over the top recently. Well, this author is trapped at Midway airport and going slowly mad, so here’s a rundown on what the cast of the Gentleman Bastard sequence are dressing up as this year!
LOCKE: Sexy Train Wreck
SABETHA: Sexy Reversal of the Default Male Gaze that Leaves Many Readers Hesitant and Uncomfortable
JEAN: Sexy Librarian
CALO: Sexy Galdo
GALDO: Sexy Calo
BUG: Sexy Tracheotomy Patient
FATHER CHAINS: Sexy Eat Your Fucking Vegetables Or I Will Exile Your Impertinent Ass to Some Minor Principality We’ve Never Previously Heard Of
SOFIA SALVARA: Sexy Marie Curie
LORENZO SALVARA: Sexy French Maid. You’re welcome, fanficcers.
DONA VORCHENZA: Sexy Professor McGonagall
THE FALCONER: Sexy Gandalf
MERRAIN: Sexy Boba Fett
PATIENCE: Killed last 7 people who suggested a sexy costume. Always dresses up as Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote.
JAFFRIM RODANOV: Sexy Human Torch
CAPA BARSAVI: Sexy Quint from Jaws.
NAZCA BARSAVI: Sexy William “The Refrigerator” Perry
REQUIN: Sexy Cecil
SELENDRI: Sexy Carlos
ZAMIRA: Sexy Ha Ha You Might Have Owned This Ship But Then I Came Aboard, Motherfucker
PAOLO AND COSETTA: They’re going as Lilo and Stitch. Not the sexy versions. Jesus. Who do you think I am, Piers Anthony?
On the one hand, I’d love to be Sabetha. On the other, I’m already basically Jean. (Lisa! Is Jaffrim Rodanov the evolved form of Johnny Storm, or vice versa? You know, in case we have to do Pokemon at trivia night again.)
i think he’s the evolved form of johnny storm? ugh, pokemon are HARD. (and JERKS.)
but also CRYING LAUGHING ABOUT THESE COSTUMES. (also just crying. BUG!!) (but seriously. the sanzas! patience! capa barsavi! MERRAIN!!!)
scottlynch78 replied to your post: Fingers crossed that Thorn of Emberlain will come…If this counts as a spoiler it’s the best spoiler! *bouncing and squealing*THORN is full o’ Vadrans. It’s raining Vadrans. Half the cast is Vadran. Loads of stuff about their language, culture, religion, and sexuality. My joking pet name for the book is AMBIGUOUSLY GAY VIKINGS. Okay, no more spoilers. *author vanishes*
i’ve been giggling over AMBIGUOUSLY GAY VIKINGS all day now, good job scott!