i talk about music a lot, & have a tendency to post songs that are stuck in my head in the hope that they will get stuck in your head instead. you're welcome.
Sneak peek from issue 2 (on sale 3/19).
We’ll explain what’s happening then.
So here’s the question I had yesterday, which literally only occurred to me for the first time then:
DOES EVERYBODY CAUGHT IN THE FOG HAVE SUPER POWERS NOW? DOES EVERYBODY AT THAT PARTY HAVE SUPER POWERS? IF THAT WAS REALLY JOHNNY STORM DID HE GET MORE POWERS?
i’m still laughing at the image of johnny crying to sue about the effects of the fog and tony just popping up all “that’s what you get for going to a party in JERSEY” and johnny yelling “HE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE” and then sue leaving the room when it devolves into a slap fight.
As far as I’m concerned these are the real titles of certain films in the Marvel Franchise.
Black Widow: The Quest To Deal With Tony Stark’s Shit
Black Widow 2: Fuck Now I Have To Save Like Five of These Morons
and her upcoming film
Black Widow 3: Steve What The Fuck Is Your Friend Doing
May I be contrary and headcanon that she actually got the necklace from Kate? ;) (Shut up shut up I know Kate isn't in the movies. Yet.)
Clint: …hey, she’s my sidekick.
Natasha: She can be your sidekick and my girl–
Someone please write the fic so I don’t have to.
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. Also, what does Jess think about them?
carol takes video of them attacking clint and emails it to her, so jess is probably on board.
(we also decided that the unicorns love pepper because her shoes make her sound like one of them. she likes them one or two at a time, but can’t handle the whole herd following her around and trying to match her pace so they all make the same noises. tony makes her shoes that look like little unicorns but assures everyone that they are DEFINITELY FAKE, DEFINITELY before thor, steve, and kit can kick his ass. (in that order.) (kit’s definitely the scariest of that bunch.) pepper refuses to wear them.)
(natasha tries to teach the unicorns stealth and uses clint as bait to gauge how far they’ve come in their training. clint does not like this game at all.)
It’s not important how lisapizza and I decided Avengers Tower should be filled with tiny unicorns.
It is, however, very important to consider Thor being followed around by a herd of tiny unicorns, calling them all “NOBLE STEED” and “MIGHTY BEAST” and occasionally carrying them under each arm. They keep stabbing Clint in the shins and he starts wearing shinguards. (Tony totally taught them to do it.)
Natasha teaches them to bring her things on their horns, and Bruce uses them to pass notes. Steve names them all and is the only one who can tell them apart. Carol thinks they’re a little unsettling, but she brings Kit over and Kit loses her tiny little mind over them. Way better than My Little Pony. (Kit asks if she can keep one and Thor says such noble beasts cannot be owned, but they can be her friends.) (Kit’s mom is thankful.)
Bucky comes up in the elevator and hears a strange thundering noise, and the door opens to a wide semicircle of tiny unicorns, all staring at him. They follow him everywhere in perfect silence, keeping their distance. Kate thinks they’re great - remind her of a birthday party she had when she was seven - and wants to know if she can rent them out. Maria Hill thinks this is absolutely fucking ridiculous and Tony shrugs and asks Pipsqueak to bring him a donut.
Whenever Coulson comes over, the unicorns all hide. He doesn’t believe they exist.
(And Nick Fury keeps one in his office, where it sleeps in a desk drawer and plays in one of those miniature desk sand gardens.)
wait but the hunger games au where Natasha is a sixteen-year old tribute and Bucky is her mentor
(the male tribute is Leo Fitz, and he doesn’t make it past the cornucopia)
and Peggy is the only other victor from their district, and she was Bucky’s mentor, back when Bucky was a tribute
like can you just imagine Peggy with blank eyes sitting next to Bucky in a public theater, watching the games, and she’s got one hand clenched into a fist but the cameras can’t see it—gotta get the mentor’s reaction for the commercial break!—because Bucky’s got his hand folded over hers, hiding it from view. Bucky watches Natasha running for her life on the big screen with a grin, because Bucky’s always been better at this part than Peggy has
(peggy was brutal in the arena, though. she kept the other tribute from her district alive as long as she could, but the poor kid was tiny and had asthma and a heart murmur and an inflated sense of his own courage and in the end she only kissed him once before he did something stupidly heroic and got himself killed trying to save her.)
anyway they sit there and they watch Natasha panting as she runs from an emormous green muttation (it’s got the eyes of that sweet-tempered kid from district five—Brian? Bruce?), sweaty and bloody with her red hair sticking to the side of her face, and they listen to the commentary on Natasha’s odds, Peggy impassive, Bucky smiling, his hand on hers.
Natasha survives the monster. They watch her murder the archer from District 12, the one who joked around with her in training and called her Nat, by shoving him into the path of a deadly man-shaped drone. Clint (seventeen) takes repulsor fire to the chest with surprise on his face, and the cannon sounds.
The commentator swings around to get their reactions, and Peggy raises her champagne. “A toast to President Stane,” she says with false cheer. “And Game-maker Stark. He’s outdone himself.”
The room erupts with applause.